When my oldest daughter was in elementary school, I applied my lifelong love of sports to coaching softball, volleyball and basketball for the City of Colorado Springs. As I was attending coach related classes, there was a theme that was running through each of these classes that caused me concern. We were instructed to not keep score and they wanted us to tell our athletes that we are “all winners”. What a disturbing thought, because guess what?!? We are not all winners. Who is teaching these kids life lessons such as winning gracefully, or even more important, how to lose gracefully?? In an effort to spare the feelings of the losers, they were in essence taking away the ability for these children to live and work in the real adult world.
I took this question back to the parents of the children I was coaching. They all agreed, we would keep score even if it was only for our own use. My daughter has never played any sport without knowing the score, and guess what, she is and was a commodity to any employer she has ever worked for. She has the ability to make her fellow co-workers “look bad or lazy” because she understands the drive and incentive to be the best she can be and to accept gracefully her short-comings. When she doesn’t perform up to the task, she is also willing to accept that she didn’t achieve what she should have set out to do We are now seeing the effect of telling our children that they are all winners. We’ve created a generation of fragile egos; adults who can’t function in an adult world.
Click on the link below as it is well written and pertinent to life in 2017. How do we change this? How do we give our kids the opportunity to develop their own identity and to become brave and willing to explore the world and their option? How do we teach them to win gracefully and even more important, how to lose gracefully?